10:45 PM
November 5, 2023
Irvine
Somehow I ended up deciding to maintain a log online in 2023 at the age of 32! I don't know if I will continue to do this everyday. Based on my past records, it is highly unlikely. But I also have the tendency to defeat the odds now and then! So let's see!
Today, I started the system design interview preparation again. I am not sure where I will end up at. I have been thinking about working for myself since last 2/3 years but haven't been able to execute anything. Neither I have a sufficient understanding in any area nor am I passionate about any particular subject, maybe that is the reason it didn't work out.
Though I did start the preparation, I kept thinking about how I would make a business out of interview preparation, developing a course and blogging about the things in general. This has always been the case, I tend to focus on lots of different stuffs rather than keeping things simple. I did realize today that a lot of money can be made by having the online presence and developing structured courses and selling them. But, given the chances of layoff and the bad economic conditions, I think I should solely focus on preparing for the interview focusing on the system design for now. I can continue to keep the notes and log the ideas, so it can be used to create courses/tutorials later if needed.
Plan and direction
Crack interviews and get a few hefty offers.
Use the offer to negotiate at Google or GTFO.
Move to the company with higher pay and where the input is highly disconnected with the rewards and trust my luck!
Get to at least $4M by the age of 35!
10.59 PM
November 6, 2023
Irvine
Just did my 9-5 job at average level and helped Bindi to review and submit her performance evaluation. Had only a few hours left for myself which went into worrying about how much progress is being made in AI and stressing about if I am getting outdated everyday.
Milestone
Complete most of the system design questions before going to Puerto Rico!
Plan and direction
Crack interviews and get a few hefty offers.
Use the offer to negotiate with Google or GTFO.
Move to the company with higher pay and where the input and rewards are highly disconnected and trust my luck!
Get to at least $4M by the age of 35!
10.58 PM
November 9, 2023
Irvine
Couldn't write logs for the last 2 days. But I am happy that I got back to it again tonight. Nothing too specific. Did my normal 9 to 5 job and spent average 2 hours at night studying system designing, browsing profiles of a few people who teach it and almost feeling guilty about why I didn't do something similar a few years back. Introspected a bit about why I couldn't accomplish much bigger things in life despite worrying about it a lot and being ambitious. Anyways, the reality is I am underleveled and not rich for sure up to the standards that I have.
I definitely need to change some things in order to be where I want to be! This needs to occur quickly as I have limited time and am aging.
Milestone
Prepare most of the system design questions well before going to Puerto Rico!
Plan and Direction
Crack interviews and get a few hefty offers.
Use the offer to negotiate with Google or GTFO.
Move to the company with higher pay where the input and rewards are highly disconnected and trust my luck!
Get to at least $4M net worth by the age of 35!
11.43 PM
April 10, 2024
Irvine
Couldn't write logs for the last few MONTHS! You know when something is not right when you read the last log you wrote a few months ago and find the current problems and status exactly the same as before the last few months. Anyways, I am just increasingly working a lot at my current job with no possibilitiy of promotion in near future. Everyone at my job seems to know that I am doing really well except my manager (I guess?). The reality is that even if I get promoted, the increased compensation is not going to be much. So Ideally I should just leave this job. But I always wanted to be at place where I am well respected and people treat me as a domain expert. I am living that high right now, but I feel like I should definitely change my current situation.
Mental Blockers:
1) Change the current job:
Market sucks right now.
Requires preparing a lot for the interview and need to spend quite a bit of time.
Am I really looking for a new job with higher position and lots of responsibilities?
Every time when a McLaren or Lemborghini drives by me, I am reminded that the owner is definitely not working for someone.
2) Start a small business:
Will that really work after not executing at all since last many years?
Switching companies will get me the quick bucks I really need right now.
3) Travel:
Really? Am I repeating 2022 and 2023?
Will I be really happy if I travel?
4) Do nothing and stay at my current job:
When I look around, I see everyone getting promoted, changing job, getting rich by IPO and investments and starting businesses. I am stuck and the handcuffs are not that golden to be honest!
5) Fitness
Need to earn more money first.
Hope I can figure something out and make it big!
11.29 PM Irvine
August 5, 2024
Today was a big day and some big things are happening in my life. I was happy that I was at least able to take it in and enjoy the moment for a while. This is going to be a big responsibility and I hope I can take control of the things. Mainly, I am happy for Bindi and I felt satisfied that at least I was able to give her some of the things she wanted in life.
Anyways, back to the grind! There about 8 months left and the first 4 are going to be extremely important for me. I need to make sure that I can get a number of things done that I always wanted to accomplish in these months. These 4 months are all going to be about the execution!
What's on my mind?
People in my friend group are famous in general. They seem to attract other people so well. For example, one of the friends is good looking and people always find it cute the way he speaks and acts. Another one is charismatic and extremely good in sports, and the other one is extremely talented. All of these friends had a great childhood and rich parents. On the other hand I play sports but not good enough to defeat the sportsman friend, I am good at studies but not enough to the level of the genius friend and I have a good height and I look better than average but I am definitely neither charming nor charismatic. On top of this, I had a relatively rough childhood and don't have enough financial backup. People feel that I look always tired or stressed. Sometimes I think people just pity me. I don't know why these friends chose to be with me, maybe because they pity me too?
What to do? What can be changed? What I want to become?
Unfortunately, I don't have an answer other than just "working hard" and "trying", because this is what I am taught to do. I hope everything works out for me and I hope that I will be able to execute on the things like I always wanted to do.
12.32 AM Irvine
July 31, 2025
Well! Almost a year since my last log. Did everything work out for me? I don't know, but the last year has been a roller coaster ride in terms of emotion, work, families, baby and relationships.
Relationship
Pregnancy was kind of alright. I had a lot of fight throughout the year with Bindi on almost everything related to families and relationships. I was at fault in a few cases, but I have known throughout the pregnancy that Bindi's hormones are on the roof and should have avoid these situations and I couldn't. Most of the walks, travels and free time resulted in us battling on almost everything. I continue to fight even after the pregnancy and still can't control my emotions and anger. I hope I can get out of this zone soon and I have made some progress towards it already.
Work
Something important happened throughout all these months. I did put my chips on an impressive project being worked on in Google. I was given an opportunity and I took it with both hands. My thoughts, emotion and work were in one direction during August 2024 to January 2025. I overcame all of my insecurities about meetings, 1:1s and leadership qualities. I leaded something really important in extremely challenging project and succeeded in doing that despite all the odds. During that time the manager did realize that I should be promoted. My bet succeeded and out of 3 people in my team who ran for promotion, only I was the one who got promoted!!! When I talked about my promotion with my manager in November 2023, he was giving me example of person A and asked me to work like him. Well the person A was one of the three people in the list, I made the cut while he didn't! Your boy is now promoted as per May, 2025.
Family
We did go to India to attend wedding in December. I should have realized that there is no way out of this instead of fighting for it till my last breath. Things didn't go well especially on my side of family after we left India for US. There were injuries, disease and what not! We somehow managed to survive all of these, but it did take a mental toll on all of us. I even had to go to India again in June!
Ruha
Can't believe she is already here! One of the best thing that has happened to me though I still can't fathom the intense change around me and my life. I won't be able to forget the day she was born and I will cherish those moments until my death. She is so beautiful and cute. There were some health concerns but she has managed to avoid them. She is doing insanely well and I am so glad that god gave me a daughter and that too my dear Ruha! I don't know how important I am going to be in her life, but I am very excited about how our relationship is going to unfold once she grows a little old. I hope I can be a great dad to her! Her smile is something to die for (really!!!).
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What is next?
I am glad that I still have some fire in me even after Ruha has arrived in this world. I still have the same dreams, aspirations and ambitions. If a Mclaren drives by me, I do still get the same feelings that I used to get. So the fight is still on!
AI is going to completely change the world. So I am trying to do something in this space and I hope that I succeed.
I am really frustrated that my stock portfolio isn't doing well. Most of my bets are going wrong and the chances that I don't take turn out be insane money making opportunities. I hope I can figure this out soon.
I have started hating my current work but at the same time I love the people. So I don't know! I need to make a decision to leave or stay. But either I am going to a startup with an opportunity to become a multi-millionaire or I will start something on the side and eventually grow it to build my empire. I hope it works!